About 4 years ago Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, one was Russian and the other was English.
NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German while the Russian decided to take along cigarettes.
Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms.
Next, out came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing applause.
Suddenly out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium and snarled to the crowd and asked, 'Has anyone got a friggin' match?'
