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Joke Archives |
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Real Life Medical Funnies
A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have
her baby in the cab!" The doctor grabs his stuff, rushes
outside, gets in the cab, lifts up the lady's dress and
begins to take off her underwear. Suddenly he notices that
there are several cabs and that he's in the wrong one.
A nurse, at the beginning of an exam places her stethoscope
on an elderly and slightly deaf female's anterior chest
wall. "Big breaths," she instructed. "Yes, they used to
be," remarks the patient.
One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I had to tell
a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial
infarct (heart attack). Not more than five minutes later I
heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had
died of a "massive internal fart."
I was performing a complete physical, including the visual
acuity test. I placed the patient 20 feet from the chart and
began, "Cover your right eye with your hand." He read the
20/20 line perfectly. "Now your left." Again, a flawless
read. "Now both," I requested. There was silence. He couldn't
even read the big E on the top line. I turned and discovered
that he had done exactly what I had asked. He was standing
there with both of his eyes covered with his hands. I was
laughing too hard to finish the exam.
     
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