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Joke Archives |
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Balls |
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One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really
hurts, I guess I should see a doctor." His friend offered,
"Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can
diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will
diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it.
It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so
he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug
store.
Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited
the $10. The computer started making some noise and various
lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a
small slip of paper on which was printed:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new
technology was and how it would change medical science
forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled.
He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his
wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the
concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured
in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made
the usual noise and printed out the following message: Your
tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms.
Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.
They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop wanking,
your tennis elbow will never get better.
     
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