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Joke Archives |
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FROM THE PAGES OF LOCAL NEWSPAPERS...
Rare Eggs Hoard. Police seized 1,500 rare birds' eggs from a
house in Mosborough, Sheffield. A man has been questioned
about a suspected poaching operation. (Daily Telegraph)
The army was called in after a major security alert at
Chesterfield's divisional police hind-quarters. (Chesterfield
Gazette)
The regulations, introduced by the former health minister, Mr
Kenneth Clarke, mean doctors can apply to courts for orders
forcing Aids patients to undergo a medical examination and/or
be kept in hospital against their will if they are a pubic
health risk. (Grauniad)
People in Preston ward are invited to a meeting at 7:15 pm
tonight in St. Mary's Church Hall, Surrenden Road, Brighton,
to meet councilors and beat police officers. (Evening Argus)
After trying to strangle his wife in their Ilchester home,
Brian John Masters called the police and asked for help.
(Yeovil and District Western Gazette)
Activity Workers : 36 hour week \0xA382.20, 21 hr week
\0xA348.30. Transport provided from Warwick/Hatton and
Leamington. Helping the disabled and disadvantaged in
activities involving Donkeys (MSC Advertisement, Leamington
Review)
Changing of the Guard : The Household Cavalry Regiment
mounts The Queen's Life Guard at Horse Guards, 11 am. (The
Times)
For Sale : Antique piano with candelabra and spiral
staircase etc. (Edinburgh Advertiser)
Pasta salad mixed with either chunks of fish or baby, barely
cooked broad beans, then dressed with oil and vinegar, is
very good too. ( Irish Times)
A change of heart by education secretary Kenneth Baker lifted
a threat to the future of Albury's village school of 20
pupils. A daft circular from the government was urging the
closure of primary schools with less than three staff. (
Herts and Essex Observer)
Even strippers' efforts to get around the nudity law by
wearing see though pasties failed. "We get them for
simulating nudity," says the police chief, Rick Huck. (Wall
Street Journal)
For Sale : DOG KENNEL suit small god for outdoors or
indoors. L25. (Hemel Hempstead Herald)
     
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