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It has become obvious to many Southerners that the
current astrological signs are too obscure and should
be replaced with more familiar symbols. Here's the new
list of astrological signs.
for Southerners:
OKRA (Dec. 22-Jan. 20): Although you appear crude,
you are actually very slick on the inside. Okras have
tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back
over his life and see the seeds of his influence
everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.
CHITLIN (Jan 21.-Feb. 19): Chitlins often come from
humble backgrounds. Many times they are uncomfortable
talking about just where they came from. A chitlin,
however, can make something of himself if he's
motivated and has plenty of seasoning. When it comes
to dealing with Chitlins, be very careful. Chitlins
are best with Catfish and Okra. Remember that when
marriage time rolls around.
BOLL WEEVIL (Feb. 20-March 20): You have an
overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied with the
surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep
into the interior of everything. Needless to say, you
are very intense and driven as if you had some inner
hunger. Nobody in his right mind is going to marry
you, so don't worry about it.
MOON PIE (March 21-April 20): You're the type that
spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch
to recognize - the physical appearance of Moon Pies.
"Big" and "round" are the key words here. You
should marry anybody you can get remotely interested
in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be
the year to think about aerobics. Maybe not.
POSSUM (April 21-May 21): When confronted with
life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to
withdraw and develop a "don't-bother-me-about-it "
attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people
actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably
not psychologically healthy, but seems to work for
you. One day, however, it won't work, and you may find
your problems actually running you over.
CRAWFISH (May 22-June 21): Crawfish is a water sign.
If you work in an office, you're always hanging around
the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the
mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to
the living room. You tend not to be particularly
attractive physically.
COLLARDS (June 22-July 23): Collards have a genius
for communication. They love to get in the "melting
pot" of life and share their essence with the essences
of those around them. Collards make good social
workers, psychologists and baseball managers. As far
as your Personal life goes, if you are Collards stay
away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save
yourself a lot of heartache.
CATFISH July 24-Aug. 23): Catfish are traditionalists
in matters of the heart, with one exception: Whiskers
may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are
never easy people to understand. You prefer the
muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life. Above
all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.
GRITS (Aug. 24-Sept. 23): Your highest aim is to be
with others like yourself. You like to huddle together
a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel,
though, maybe you should think about joining a club.
Where you like to go? Anywhere they have cheese or
gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go
somewhere where they have all these things, that
serves you well.
BOILED PEANUTS (Sept. 24-Oct. 23): You have a
passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, your friends and loved ones may find
that your person is much too salty, and their
criticism will probably affect you deeply because you
are really much softer than you appear. You should go
right ahead and marry anybody you want to because in a
certain way, yours is a charmed life. On the road of
life, you can be sure that people will pull over and
stop for you.
BUTTER BEAN (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): Always invite a
Butter Bean because Butter Beans get along well with
everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud.
You've grown on the vine of life and you feel at home
no matter what the setting. You can sit next to
anybody. However you, too, shouldn't have anything to
do with Moon Pies.
ARMADILLO (Nov. 23-Dec. 21): You have a tendency to
develop a tough exterior, but you are actually quite
gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire,
some root fruit, worms and insects. You are a
throwback. You're not concerned with today's fashions
and trends. You're not concerned with anything about
today. You are really almost prehistoric in your
interests and behavior patterns. You probably want to
marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another mating
possibility.
     
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