HOW TO IDENTIFY WHERE A DRIVER IS FROM:
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago.
One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York.
One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all
lanes of traffic: New Jersey
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on
accelerator: Boston.
One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf
cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: with
gun in lap: L.A.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering
in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head
turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy
One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone,
foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle.
One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating
between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on
the brake, throwing a McDonald's bag out the window: Texas.
Four-wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear
window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to
antenna: West Virginia.
Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above
window level, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane
with the left blinker on: Florida.
One hand on the wheel, the other holding a cell phone,
driving 130 mph and four feet from your bumper, while
flashing headlights to tell you to get out of the way:
Atlanta.
One hand on the wheel and the other in there nose, mouth or
on the way from one to the other: Utah
     
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