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Joke Archives |
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A tourist wanders into a back-alley antique shop in San
Francisco's Chinatown. Picking through the objects on display
he discovers a detailed, life-sized bronze sculpture of a
rat. The sculpture is so interesting and unique that he picks
it up and asks the shop owner what it costs.
"Twelve dollars for the rat, sir," says the shop owner, "and
a thousand dollars more for the story behind it."
"You can keep the story, old man," he replies, "but I'll take
the rat."
The transaction complete, the tourist leaves the store with
the bronze rat under his arm. As he crosses the street in
front of the store, two live rats emerge from a sewer drain
and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his
shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes
another sewer drain, more rats come out and follow him.
By the time he's walked two blocks, at least a hundred rats
are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He
walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes
of rats swarm from sewers, basements, vacant lots, and
abandoned cars.
Rats by the thousands are at his heels, and as he sees the
waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to
run full tilt.
No matter how fast he runs, the rats keep up, squealing
hideously, now not just thousands but millions, so that by
the time he comes rushing up to the water's edge a trail of
rats twelve city blocks long is behind him.
Making a mighty leap, he jumps up onto a light post, grasping
it with one arm while he hurls the bronze rat into San
Francisco Bay with the other, as far as he can heave it.
Pulling his legs up and clinging to the light post, he
watches in amazement as the seething tide of rats surges over
the breakwater into the sea, where they drown.
Shaken and mumbling, he makes his way back to the antique
shop.
"Ah, so you've come back for the rest of the story," says the
owner.
"No," says the tourist, "but I was wondering if you have any
bronze lawyers!"
     
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