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26 THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ALMOST ANY CRISIS.
1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.
2. You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at
the track.
3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of
preparation.
4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.
5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
6. Sometimes too much drink is not enough.
7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
8. The careful application of terror is also a form of
communication.
9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the
real world.
10. Things are more like they are today than they have ever
been before.
11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.
12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no
simpler.
13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.
15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
16. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
17. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone
in mind to blame.
18. One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
19. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.
20. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life
is serious.
21. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
22. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.
23. This is as bad as it can get, but don't bet on it.
24. Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the
pig likes it.
25. The trouble with life is, you're half way through it
before you realize it's a 'do it yourself' thing.
26. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their
level then beat you with experience.
     
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