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HoW To KeEp A hEaLtHy LeVeL Of InSaNiTy AnD dRiVe OtHeR pEoPlE
iNsAnE:
1. UsE RAnDoM cApiTaliZaTiON iN EvEryTHiNg You wrITe
2. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice)
3. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same
outfits.
4. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is
especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
5. Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what
you're doing. For example: 'If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom.'
6. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
7. Insist that your e-mail address be:
xena_goddess_of_fire@companyname.com
or
Elvis_the_King@companyname.com
8. Everytime someone asks you to do something, ask if they want
fries with that.
9. Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized
chair dancing.
10. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN'.
11. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
12. Send e-mail messages that advertise free pizza, doughnuts,
etc., in the break room. When people complain to you that there
was nothing there, lean back, rub your stomach, and say, "You've
got to be faster than that."
13. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has
gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
14. In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for sexual
favors'.
15. Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you
think."
16. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the
prophecy."
17. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level
lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like
it that way.
18. Dont use any punctuation
19. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
20. Ask people what sex they are.
21. At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer
at passing cars to see if they slow down.
22. Specify that your drive-through order is 'to go'.
23. Sing along at the opera.
24. Tell your friend 5 days in advance that you will not be
attending their party because you're not in the mood.
***AnD tHe FiNaL wAy To AnNoY pEoPlE fRoM hTtP://wWw.LaUgHeRs.CoM
25. Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book even if
they sent it to you or have asked you not to send them stuff!
     
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