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Some Exercise One Liners:

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was
60. She's 97 now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could
hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out
what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes,
he would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people
who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die
healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a
small country.

I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

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