A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've
known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you've
been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them
behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot
when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes,
I know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do
you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for
his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment
to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.
The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone
and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the
entire state. Yes, I know him."
At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence
and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet
voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her
if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within
5 minutes!"
     
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