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GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Insanity is my only means of relaxation.

3) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can
get.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a
rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) One of life's mysteries is how a two pound box of candy
can make a person gain five pounds.

6) Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the
thought goes away.

7) God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of
things. Right now I am so far behind, I will live forever.

8) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody
bothers to ask you the questions.

9) I finally got my head together, and my body fell apart.

10) There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is
already full.

11) Age doesn't always bring wisdom. Sometimes age comes
alone.

12) Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came
today.

13) Sometimes I think I understand everything, then I regain
consciousness.

14) Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

Rate this joke. 1 is bad, 5 is great!  1 Ball. This joke bombed. 2 Balls. This joke was a little slow.3 Balls. This joke was average.4 Balls. This joke was pretty funny!5 Balls. This joke was so funny, I nearly wet myself!!!

 


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