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Joke Archives |
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Balls |
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Things you'll NEVER hear a Redneck Southerner say, ever, no
matter how much they've had to drink, no matter how far from
the South they've wandered and no matter how much the skunks
are threatening...
* "I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex"
* Duct tape won't fix that.
* Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
* Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
* We don't keep firearms in this house.
* Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer?
* You can't feed that to the dog.
* I thought Graceland was tacky.
* No kids in the back of the pickup, it's not safe.
* Wrasslin's fake.
* Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
* We're vegetarians.
* Do you think my hair is too big?
* I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
* Honey, do these bonsai trees need watering?
* Who's Richard Petty?
* Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
* Deer heads detract from the decor.
* Spitting is such a nasty habit.
* I just couldn't find a thing at Walmart today.
* Trim the fat off that steak.
* Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
* The tires on that truck are too big.
* I'll have the arugula and radicchio salad.
* I've got it all on a floppy disk.
* Unsweetened tea tastes better.
* Would you like your fish poached or broiled?
* My fiancee, Paula Jo, is registered at Tiffany's.
* I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
* Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
* Checkmate.
* She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
* Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
* Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
* Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
* Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
     
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