IF ??? MARRIED ???.....
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, hey! it's the
'90's!, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him
to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to
marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Monster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and
married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop
Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe
Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then
divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.
Nog (Quark's brother on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no
other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage
license. IF he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare,
he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.
If Shirley Jones married Tom Ewell, then Johnny Rotten, then
Nathan Hale, she'd be Shirley Ewell Rotten Hale. (This one
may take a little longer to get)
If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married
Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy
Capp Paar King.
If Javier Lopez married Keiko the whale, and Edith Piaf
married Rose Tu the elephant, they would be Javier Keiko and
Edith Tu.
If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor),
King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert
Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar
Mayer Wiener.
If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married
Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody
Wood Peck Hur.
If Dolly Parton married Tommy Smothers, then went even
further back in show business and married Mr. Lucky, then
divorced and married Martin Short, then divorced and married
football kicker Ray Guy, we could all nod understandingly
when we heard, "Dolly Parton Smothers Lucky Short Guy."
     
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