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Joke Archives |
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If America Online Was A City:
1) You'd live in a place where no two people had the same
name.
2) You'd only pay $21.95 a month to live there, but half the
time you tried to leave your house, the door would be stuck.
3) Once you got outside, even if you were in a hurry, you'd
be assaulted by slimy little door-to-door sales creeps
offering you great AOL 14.4 modems for only $399.99.
4) The commute to work is just a double-click away, but every
time you try to leave your driveway, the flow of traffic
knocks you back into your yard.
5) 48 hours after moving in, your mailbox would be
overflowing with special offers, promotions and discounts from
www.junkmail.com.
6) The local post office would tell your mother you're not a
known resident.
7) The local post office won't forward your mail to you when
you move.
8) If you saw a crime and called 911, they'd reply a week
later with a form letter saying how you "really are important
to us".
9) Every time you went shopping, you'd be kicked out of the
store by a bouncer screaming, "WE'RE SORRY, THIS STORE IS
TEMPORARILY UNAVAILABLE."
10) Whenever you traveled to other cities, people would see
your license tag and laugh at you, behind your back.
11) You'd occasionally be sent home during your day by another
bouncer telling you that the city has performed an illegal
operation.
12) You'd not have any idea who your neighbors are, and most
new arrivals would move in at night, stuff everyone's mailbox
with garbage, and vacate before sun-up.
13) The administration would build a huge, state of the art
park, and allow the kids to play there free, then suddenly
start demanding money.
14) Upon waking every morning, a voice from above would shout,
"HEY! YOU! YOU WANT AN AOL VISA, DON'T YOU?" To which you say,
"No." The voice then replies, "OK, I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN
TOMORROW."
     
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